Tell Me Your Dreams

So I couldn't sleep last night, I really need to stick to a sleep schedule. Some random thoughts were running through my head, wrote them down and this is what came out...

What are your dreams? Have they all come true?

Have they changed? Have you had to make compromises along the way?

Have they brought you hope in times of despair?

Have they been shattered by the harsh reality of life, or have you persevered and continue to believe they can change the world?

Have you sold your soul to make them a reality, or have you taken the long road and kept yourself intact?

Tell me, have your dreams led you to the springs of the sea and the vast expanses of the earth?

Life Update

So it’s been quite a while since my last blog. My apologies. The last few months have simply flashed before my eyes. I guess it’s true, time flies when you’re having fun.

September, as it turned out, proved to be quite busy. With the Denver Half Marathon a month away, running and working out became my only priority. Wake up, go to work, hit the gym/tackle an afternoon run, eat dinner, shower, and go to bed was basically the routine I followed for most of the month. I was very concerned with my fitness going to Denver. Mentally and physically I knew I could run 13.1 miles, I’ve done it twice, but I was very nervous about the change in altitude I would encounter. I had been forewarned about it so images of me running and passing out midway through the course kept creeping into my head. There I’d be at mile 6 or 7 running through downtown Denver and BAM I’d just stop because I couldn’t breathe anymore. I knew I would have to run at a slower pace, so I practiced running slow. I know sounds funny, but with all the adrenaline that rushes through your body on race day I had to practice. My training runs tended to last longer than usual, time wise, but I logged all the necessary miles and my body didn’t complain.

September wasn’t all about prepping for my big show down with the Mile High City. A solo trip to Vegas was in store for Labor Day weekend and I would be headed to Houston at the end of the month for a wedding celebration. Vegas was amazing. The majority of my extended family lives there, so the sole purpose of this trip was to spend quality time with my aunts and cousins. Mission accomplished. First thing I did in Vegas: attended poker night at my cousin’s house and took everyone’s money. As Lady Gaga would say, “a little gamblin’ is fun when you’re with me.” I also went hiking at Mt. Charleston, ran a 5K, took in a UNLV Rebels football game, and eventually found my way to the Strip and saw LOVE, the Cirque du Soleil show featuring music by the Beatles. The Strip never disappoints. My journey home was memorable to say the least. Vegas never disappoints. My family is too much fun and my godmother was a fabulous host.

Houston was a simple weekend getaway. I traded in the running gear for some formal wear and attended the wedding of my very good friends Claire and Riley. Nothing like catching up with old friends, making new ones and dancing the night away. Non-stop laughter and awesome dance moves all night long. Congrats again you two.

October was all about Denver and surprisingly Halloween. I spent five unbelievable days in Colorado. My uncle lives in Highlands Ranch, a 30-minute drive from downtown Denver, and officially my new favorite place on Earth. I hit some balls at the golf range, journeyed through a corn maze, ate delicious food, drank excellent sangria, played with the coolest schnauzers in town, Buster and Ziggy, went to a Broncos game and got some much-needed R&R. And of course I ran my third half marathon with one of my favorite persons-Kara, love you lots! All my fears and anxiety about running in higher altitude were put to rest after a few trial runs. As it turns out, running at a slower pace isn’t so bad. I enjoyed the experience a lot more. There were no pre-race jitters; been there done that. There was no set goal; I’m content with my personal best for now. I ran free. I took in the sights and noticed the people cheering through the streets. I was pretty tired by mile 10 but hey sea level is for sissies.

After Denver, the laziness began and the Halloween spirit hit. I took some time off to rest and planned for the most epic candy day ever. Ok, it wasn’t that epic, but I met Spiderman, hung out with Alice in Wonderland and paid homage to the best video game ever. Pretty epic if you ask me.

Solitude, Pain and Nostalgia

A couple of weeks ago, I ran alone for the first time since my race in Boston in late May. My usual running partners decided to take the day off and be lazy, which turned out to be a good thing because I really didn’t fell like running with anyone on that particular day. I do that sometimes. I seclude myself. I shut down. Not because I’m sad or angry or going through something but because sometimes I like being alone. It’s my way of meditation where I’m able to think things through and find a moment of clarity in the jigsaw puzzle that is my brain. It gives me an opportunity to reflect on a situation that needs attention before a rash decision is made. It gives me time to maybe put an idea running through my head on paper. Whatever the reason may be whenever I have time to be alone I bask in it. Being an only child does that to you I guess, or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know. I just know the one thing I miss most since moving back home is my solitude and it’s nice to be able to find some alone time in the simple things like running.

So I drove to a park nearby and just ran. No timing, no pacing just one foot in front of the other until my legs gave out and my lungs where gasping for breath. Until my quads burned with every stride and my arms could swing no more. I do this too sometimes. I test myself. I push myself physically. Waking up the next day and feeling soar makes me feel alive. The pain makes me feel alive. Now, the pain I’m referring to isn’t the bad pain, the hard pain that takes you by surprise and knocks you down so fast you have no idea what hit you. I’m talking about the good pain, the adrenaline rush that hits your every nerve and makes you feel invincible. Sometimes life gets stagnant and routine, and when that happens I need something to kick me back in gear. I happen to use exercise. There’s no grand explanation for this particular phenomenon of my life. Sports are what I do and right now I run. In the years to come when all the cartilage in my knees is gone I’ll bike, but I’ll always do sports. The pain, the rush, the invincibility are a constant part of who I am.

I ended up running a total of six loops around the park before I threw myself on the grass. As a said, I wasn’t trying to run each mile at a certain pace I just kept going like a little Energizer Bunny. I guess I got lost in my run. I watched the sunset behind the mountains; watched kids at football or baseball practice; watched people walking their dogs; watched parents playing with their kids in the playground, and as I saw all these images around me it took me back, back to a time when life was simple. I used to come to this park when I was a kid. I used to play in the playground once, used to sit on the bleachers and watch my cousins play baseball and during the summer I used to swim at the pool in the rec center. I had a great time at this park. I had a great childhood. I’m very thankful for all the memories I can look back on. Because today, the people once close to me are now so distant and the ones that were distant are now so close. That’s part of life. Relationships change but the memories always make you smile.

As I gathered myself and drove home that day, I told myself I needed to run at the park more often. I had fun. A few days later I did, but it wasn’t the same. Maybe it was the heat or maybe I was tired but the solitude, pain and nostalgia had passed. Hopefully one of these days I’ll run fast enough and catch all three again.

Moses

Dear Monique,

So, I’m sitting here in my lovely office trying to come up with something clever or poetic to tell you as you pack up all your little treasures and I got nothing, zero, zilch, nada. All that comes to mind is I bet 10 years ago you never thought you’d be moving to Alpine :o).

Ok, all joking aside you know the SMJ crew over here is proud of you – we tell you ever day and I’ve lost count on the going away celebrations. But once again, just in case so you don’t forget I’m proud of you friend. I know you’ve had your critics the past few weeks and yes we all know Alpine isn’t NYC but for the moment it’s your NYC. And as I sit here and reminisce about all the good times and all the hard times in my life you’re standing by my side. You’re in my favorite memories like the grand celebration we had when you turned 16-by far the best moment of my teenage years, or cruising around in the Maxima singing Avril Lavigne songs, or the Vegas trips, or still cruising around except now we have Sebastian and instead of Avril we got Sonara, or the Wii Dancing or the past few months all the fun and all the other stuff, you know what I’m talking about.

You’re a good person, you’re a good daughter, you’re a good friend and you’re a good teacher

I leave you with these parting words, some of which I stole:

No. 1 Always remember, “They don’t love you like I love you.”

No. 2 “Most friends fade or they don’t make the grade…New ones are quickly made and in a pinch, sure they’ll do...But us old friend…What’s to discuss old friend…Here’s to us-who’s like us…Damn few.”

No. 3 Yo, Carmen y su cadenita te vamos a extrañar un chingo!

TQM

Your Sari-boom-bodi

A House and A Home

A house is a dwelling, a shelter of some sort.
A house is where you live, a place for habitation.
A house is made of brick and stone.
A house can be strong. A house can be weak.
A house is complicated.
A house can be a safe haven. A house can be a hell.
A house makes a pretty picture.
A house can be permanent. A house can be gone in an instant.
A house holds many secrets.
A house can be nothing but happiness. A house can be nothing but sadness.
A house is a landmark.
A house can be full. A house can be empty.
A house is a temporary storage.
A house is an achievement. A house is a dream.
A house teaches life lessons.
A house is full of laughter. A house is full of tears.
A house is where memories are made, not kept.
A house does not make you. A house can not break you.
A house is not a home.

A home is forever.
Home is where the heart is.
Home is wherever I’m with you.

25 Years in the Making

The cowboy boot, a type of footwear that comes in many different shapes and styles, made from cowhide leather or from exotic skins like ostrich, alligator, lizard or snake. The heel can either be a western heel, a roper heel or a stacked leather heel. The toe can be a D toe, R toe, square toe, U toe or J toe. They can have decorative stitching; they can be waterproof; they can have a leather-lined interior. To some the cowboy boot is what it is a shoe, a type of footwear, a symbol of the southwest. To me, the cowboy boot is the essence of my existence.

Twenty-five years ago my parents got married. They met at a little place called Tony Lama Factory Boot Store where they worked together – a bit ironic that on the eve of their 25th anniversary I happen to buy my first pair of boots. My mom helped size and fit people buying boots and my dad, well I don’t know what my dad did. He was (is) good at so many trades that he floated around all the different departments. Long story short they met, they dated, I’m sure they had some break-ups and make-ups, one Christmas day my dad proposed and the rest is history.

There is not much you can say about my parents. They’re not complicated. They don’t think they’re better than others. They don’t try to act like something they’re not. They’re just good, simple, hardworking people who tried to give their daughter all the opportunities they never had in life. They’re not perfect, they’ll be the first to admit that, and like any marriage there’s been hard times and good times but mostly great times. They test each other patience. My mom is a doer. She likes to wake up early get things done, keeps things organized. My dad is laid back. He works at his own pace and scatters his belongings around the house (as I’m writing this, he’s actually searching through the house for some insurance papers he’s misplaced). They work hard at their marriage; they know it’s not easy. They respect each other, they love each, they make each other laugh and no doubt they make each other happy. If you ask me, they’re amazing. I’ve been along for most of the ride and I don’t know how they raised a kid let alone got married at such a young age.

It’s quite a task being their only child. Sure it has its perks, excellent perks by the way, but it’s not all cake and ice cream. It’s hard. The bar is set high, and when you grow up watching your parents work as hard as they do and you see how far they’ve made it in life sometimes you can’t help but feel that on a good day you’re maybe half way there. My parents made me earn it, they didn’t just hand me the keys to the castle, that’s one of the many reasons why I love them.

So Happy Anniversary mom and dad!

Thanks for sticking it out, for facing your trials and tribulations together, for putting your dreams on hold and for all the sacrifices you’ve made. I’ve seen you make decisions that I didn’t quite understand until the day I started making my own grown-up decisions and I’ve realized there’s a debt I can’t repay.

Thank you for showing me that happiness isn’t measured by monetary success. I know there were times when you struggled financially but you always knew how to make the best of things and you always made sure the three of us had everything we needed. When you couldn’t afford to take me to the movies you’d make a little theater at home. Like the time we watched The Star Wars Trilogy, I was maybe 5 or 6 yrs old. You’d set up blankets and pillows on the floor and pop popcorn in the microwave; we stayed glued to the TV for hours. When you couldn’t afford to plan a vacation you always found interesting activities to do around town. Like the Spring Break we delivered phone books throughout the city, I was probably about 10. We loaded up our truck, drove all around the east side of town, had sing-a-long time with the radio, and at the end of the day with the cash we’d earn you’d take me out to do something fun.

Thank you for letting me pursue whatever endeavor I wanted. When I wanted to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle you let me believe it was possible. When I wanted to do nothing but play basketball you drove me to every practice, to every game and you sent me to all the basketball camps you could afford. When I decided to leave for college you didn’t stand in my way, you knew it was time for me to grow up.

Thank you for teaching me the importance of hard work. You’ve shown me that nothing in this life is handed to you just because you think you deserve it. If you want it, you got to go get it.

Thank you for always making our family a priority, for putting us above everything else. You never missed a school function or a single basketball game. You’ve always been front and center for every important moment of my life.

Most importantly, thank you for showing me love still exists and happy endings are still possible in this less than perfect world. As one of the greatest songwriters once wrote, all you need love. Well love and a good pair of cowboy boots.

So here’s to the next 25 years, may they continue to be full of happiness, laughter and love.

I'm a Runner

Running. I hated running. It was the death of me. It’s quite strange really how I’ve spent the majority of my life playing some sort of sport, yet running I found no purpose to it. It didn’t come naturally to me; thus I hated running because I lacked the proper speed and endurance, and when you’re not the fastest and strongest you don’t win, and contrary to popular belief, life is so much better when you win. Well, two half marathons, a Bataan Memorial Death March and more than a few 5K’s and 10K’s later and I can’t seem to get enough. I hate not running. Better yet I Love Running!

I started running in 2007. My friend Katelyn invited me to run a 5K with her - the Lisa Burmeister Run for Hope, or as I like to call it my first real deal 5K. I finished under 30 minutes, had a lot fun and became intrigued by the running community. Slowly but surely my affinity with running began to develop. It didn’t happen overnight after one race and it didn’t happen after a couple of solo runs either. It took more or less a year before I got motivated enough to start running on a regular basis. I had just moved back home, was unemployed, frustrated and disappointed, trying to figure out what was next in life when running began to make sense to me. It became my place of solace, my escape from the world. My runs at the park or around my neighborhood became the time where my brain just stopped. I didn’t have to think about anything. I didn’t have to answer anyone’s questions about my future; my world was just calm. For 30 minutes to an hour my worries and all the bad things in the world disappeared, and I began to find happiness and joy. I started having fun and when I started having fun I got serious about running.

So now three years later since the first real deal 5K and I see no end in sight. My reasons for running have changed. Sure, when I have a bad day or a stressful day it’s still my place of solace but now I want to conquer the world of running. I want to run a race, any kind of race, in each state, and I want to get faster, but I will never forget how running saved me. It brought a new purpose to my life – life should be simple, it’s too short to be complicated – and it’s taught me many lessons along the way. I’ve learned that with every race I sign up for I’m a winner. Because the great thing about running is that you don’t have to come in first place to win. Taking 10 seconds of your 5K time for a personal best, trying to run 8 miles nonstop for the first time or running in your first half marathon is an accomplishment on its own, and the feeling you get when you’ve succeeded at your goal is quite frankly a feeling I had never experienced before. I’ve learned that I’m stronger than I realize both in running and in life. In running, as you increase your mileage you know you’re getting stronger. In life, with each day you finish, whether good or bad, you’re getting stronger for what the future may hold. I’ve learned that while running may be an individual sport, the camaraderie is still alive. We cheer for each other, we help each other – I’ve seen people stop in a middle of race to make sure another runner was ok – we motivate each other to do better and we share stories on our running experiences from black toenails and blisters to bloody nipples (bloody nipples is a guy thing). We’re a band of crazies.

In spite of everything I’ve learned and all the races I’ve ran, running in Boston a few weeks ago is an experience I will never forget, the most gratifying part of this journey has been how my parents have joined the bandwagon. We’ve become a little family of runners the three of us, not that we needed another activity for bonding time we get plenty of that that’s for sure. It’s just great that we’re able to spend time together and partake in an activity the three of us really enjoy, especially now that I’m an adult. I have them running up and down hills, through the desert, in the wind, in the rain, you name it they’ve done it with smiles on their faces. Well not really but with hardly any complaints, and most importantly we get to keep these memories forever.

So I’m a runner. I don’t dread it anymore. It’s no longer the death of me. I love it. I thrive on it. Through future failures and success I will always be a runner, and a proud runner for that matter

Some Oldies

So last night I was rummaging through my hard drive when I stumbled across some stuff I'd written for my Spanish Lit course back in 2007 and thought I'd share. The first is an original sonnet and the second is a short story we had to write following the first sentence which was given to us in class, or something like that. Don't know if I'll write anything else on here in spanish this just brought back some good memories.

La vida es un engaño

Me estoy ahogando y nadie lo sabe.
El agua dulce toca mi piel reseca,
y se siente como la noche fresca,
con la luna brillante y viento suave.

Me estoy ahogando y nadie lo sabe.
Hace que mi cuerpo desaparezca,
para que la gente no me conozca,
pero estoy lista que mi vida acabe.

Los minutos pasan, parecen años.
Respiro pero ya quede prisionera,
y las olas me llevan a los sueños.

Vida mía llena de mil engaños,
sólo fuiste una linda traicionera,
lista con veneno para ser daños.




La Luna

La solitaria y melancólica luna derramo su luz tenue en las piedras ásperas del viejo castillo. El cielo estaba claro y la noche fresca. El Escudero, sentado sobre una rama del árbol, miraba hacia el castillo esperando al Rey. La envidia lo comía por dentro. El Rey, su amigo desde jovencillos, tenía todo y él nada, era pobre y desdichado.
El Escudero sabía que era costumbre del Rey caminar alrededor del campo cada noche. Aquí lo esperaba, espada en la mano, listo. Pensando que estaba sólo, el Rey miraba su reflejo en el lago oscuro disfrutando de la soledad, contemplando su vida. El Escudero lo miró, bajó del árbol y cautelosamente caminó hacia él.
Su espada brillaba con la luz de la luna. Respirando lentamente el Escudero se paró detrás de él. Por un momento se detuvo, indeciso, recordando las aventuras que habían tenido El Rey volteó, lo miró, sonrió y dándole un puñetazo le enteró su navaja. El Escudero cayó de rodillas, boca abierta y sin ningún remordimiento el Rey limpió su navaja es se fue. El único testigo, la solitaria y melancólica luna derramando su luz tenue en las piedras ásperas del viejo castillo.

On Mother's

A little something I wrote on Mother's Day

To all the mothers I know:
You are the women I admire.
You epitomize the strength, the courage and the selflessness I hope to one day hold.
You possess a certain quality unattainable by many. A quality incomprehensible to many, a quality only found the day you became a mother – unconditional love.
Your love is infinite, your sacrifices go unnoticed and your patience is immeasurable.
You’re never alone in your thoughts. You always have to think twice, once for yourself and once for your child.
But the love and joy you express at the sight of your children and in the stories you tell, there’s no word for that.
So thanks for always eating the piece of burnt toast and saving the last piece of pie.
Happy Mother’s Day! Today is your day; everyday is your day, but today the sun shines a little brighter, the day is a bit more peaceful and the world makes a little more sense.

The First Blog

What do I say on my first blog? Why did I decide to start writing a blog in the first place? These are the questions on my mind.

Answers: I can say anything worth reading and it’s time to start writing again.

So who am I and what am I doing here?

Answers: I am Sarah. I am a strong, stubborn, semi-independent woman. I am in my mid 20s and I live in Texas, as far west Texas as you can go. I am a runner. I finished my first half-marathon in March in 2:42:52 (not what I was shooting for but it can only get better). I am a good person, or at least I try to be but I’m human and I’ve made mistakes. I am a college graduate. I have a degree in journalism from Baylor University that sits nice and pretty on my wall. Two years ago I stopped writing. You can call it a lack of confidence, doubt or a change of heart but I just stopped. The desire was gone so I moved on to plan B. But life is funny and the thing you’re running away from always has a way of finding itself back to you. So here I am moving forward no more running.

The one question that remains unanswered is what am I doing here. I’ve learned there’s no definite answer for this one. Nothing is set in stone. Life happens. Things change, people change, I’ve changed. Sometimes when an unexpected opportunity comes along you take it and if a tough decision has to be made you make it. There’s no manual on life, no outline to follow. Sometimes you have to do what’s expected and sometimes you follow your gut. So right now I’m living life, having fun, enjoying it and most importantly trying to be happy.

This blog has no central theme. Its only purpose is to share the random thoughts that cross my mind. So thus begins the blogging. If you know me you might be surprised with what I have to say. If you don’t, well please be kind with your comments (if you know me please be kind also) and I hope you enjoy.